Seeing before Doing: How Childless Adults Learn about Parenthood Online and off, and the Implications for Fertility-Intention Uncertainty

Anna Reimondos , Australian National University
Ann Evans, Australian National University
Edith Gray, Australian National University

The decision to become a parent is distinctive in that its consequences cannot be fully known until lived. For people deciding whether- or when- to become parents, understanding what childbearing and parenthood are “really like” depends on social learning: observing family, friends, and colleagues, or consuming second-hand accounts from media and online sources. This study explores how childless adults learn about parenthood and how the transparency of that learning, how clear or opaque the perceived costs and rewards are, shapes their uncertainty and ambivalence about having children. We draw on data from an online Reddit forum dedicated to childbearing decision-making using a grounded theory approach to identify mechanisms of social learning and transparency. Findings show that vivid, emotionally charged “in-the-trenches” accounts of early-years parenting dominate online narratives, often reducing transparency and heightening uncertainty, whereas concrete and credible examples of childbearing and parenting from trusted close ties including peers and family members increase perceived manageability of having children and confidence in fertility intentions. People move between low- and high-transparency contexts in forming fertility intentions. We integrate the findings within the broader literature on fertility-intention uncertainty, which recognises that intentions are not binary but vary in certainty and intensity. The study advances understanding of how observational socialisation shapes fertility decision-making and the interplay between information environments, learning, and fertility behaviour.

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 Presented in Session P3. Families, Fertility, and the Life Course 3